This former preacher hasn’t prayed in years. Not even at the dinner table. (The kids took that over in my silence.)
The truth is I’ve been angry. This wasn’t what I was sold. I did all the things. Marked all the boxes. Completed all the prerequisites. Walked the journey.
But, like Madonna’s Eva Peron in Andrew Lloyd Webber’s Evita, I did not wind up where I intended to be.
And I grew angry and resentful. I grew scared. Did I mishear? Did I make up what I thought was my calling? If I messed that up, could I even really hear God?
So I gave up even trying.
I left the disciplines of scripture reading and prayer. I gave myself over to whatever and wherever I found myself. And I nursed my anger. I withdrew from church. I could not find a place to serve. I gave up even wanting a place.
And I spent years this way.
But today, I prayed. For the first time in years. I don’t really remember how. I’m not sure I ever really knew.
Today, I prayed this simple prayer. Over and over.
Lord Jesus Christ, Son of God, have mercy on me, a sinner.
I feel like I can spend a lifetime with this.
Maybe I will.
As we pay the price of obedience, we can be sure that every unanswered prayer, every short-term loss, plays its part in the long-term certainty of victory in Christ. It’s just that we never realized that winning could sometimes hurt like hell.
- Pete Greig, God on Mute, p. 172
Whatever you are facing, whatever darkness life brings your way, remember Romans 8:28. The end is already assured. God wins. And so do all on His side.
A great Steven Curtis Chapman song.
And it applies to this blog, as I am sure you can see from the theme that is in place. This will be a work in progress for a little while, then the content will start coming.
Feel free to leave a comment.
I have uploaded my entries from my other blogs that I worked on. This will be my one home from now on (see here).
To anyone who is reading, I wanted to let you know that I have invited a good friend of mine to be a contributor to this blog from time to time (whenever his schedule allows and his thoughts provoke). So, welcome Jon to the discussion.