I feel very much on the outside. Like I don’t belong.

I met some people who know exactly who they are and what they are doing. Whether or not any group supports them, they are sure that they belong exactly where they are.

I don’t belong in that way.

I met some people who know exactly who they are against. They have been wronged. And those who were wronged have banded together as the “wronged ones”. They know who they are not. They belong.

I don’t belong in that way.

I watched people bow their heads, lift their voices, listen intensely, and know that they were there for a common purpose, doing a common activity, working toward common goals. They belonged to each other and worked with each other.

I don’t belong to them. Not in that way.

I have heard of people who have nothing, who toil for hours on end for a day’s worth of food, not really sure if they will get the same tomorrow. Yet they are comforted by a faith that unites them across time and space to people they have never met and may never know. Somehow, they belong to this cosmic union.

My head says I belong to that. My heart begins to disagree. And for the first time my greatest fear begins to whisper out loud.


One thought on “Belonging

  1. I have also felt this way many times. I think the need to belong is one of the most basic of human emotional needs, and we all feel it pretty much all the time… even when we DO belong.

    Not that this is much consolation… but sometimes it takes someone who DOESN’T belong to see what’s going on with the ones who DO. The prophets were mostly un-belongers.

    And finally, I’m not completely sure, but if you were to mount a search for Jesus in these groups, I think you’d probably find him among the last. Take comfort – he’s there.

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