Grace in action

Christians are an amazing bunch. From the outside looking in, we must look like so much hypocrisy, claiming perfection and yet so obviously failing it (just look at the typified Baptist business meeting over carpet color). And yet there are few in the world I have encountered that can show such love and mercy.

I have tried hard of late to make it difficult for people to like me. I have fled duties. I have accused. I have rejected. I have labeled. And, fortunately, I was caught in my own hypocrisy by a good friend. He helped me to see what I have been doing for what it is, and I must say that I am very grateful.

So today I returned and found myself surrounded by people who deeply cared and deeply welcomed. I am sure that most are not aware of the demons I have fought within myself over the last while. And I am sure that it is better that way. I am just glad for their lives of grace. We have experienced it, and I experienced it deeply today. Grace in action is beautiful.

Waiting to live

Have you ever had a conversation with someone who opposes you, and you know that they are right – at least on most things? The frustration sets in when you can’t quite figure out where the line of right and wrong is. Where is the stuff that you take and try to incorporate into your life, and where is the stuff that is simply to be discarded? I’ve had a couple of those conversations this week, and I am more confused now than I was before I had them.

Well, I don’t so much know that confused is the right word. Lost, maybe. And I really just don’t know what to do with them.

Anyway, I’m tired of waiting for all of the right pieces to fall into place so that I can start living. I’ve been waiting far too long. I had one person doubt what I have assumed was my purpose in life. Another person had no doubt, but was confused about why life was so difficult. A third was wondering why I was sitting on the bench when there was so much to do.

So I should play. But am I in the right game? Am I even in the right ball park?

And so I’ll wait. Because I just don’t know.

I’m tired of waiting to live.